How to build rapport

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Are you wondering how to build rapport? 

You know you’ve done it more than once. You’ve opened your mouth and let your words fly, only to wish you could somehow take them back. You thought you knew it all. You might have been a little angry. You knew you had the right to say it. But in the end, you have little more than regret to show for it.

Discover how to build rapport and change the outcomes of your interactions for the better with these rapport building activities: 

By implementing these tips you'll be on your way to establishing rapport with ease!:

1. Put your full attention on the other person. Most people don’t listen well. They’re just waiting for the other person to finish so they can speak. Instead, use the time to relax and pay attention to the other person. This isn’t the time to allow your mind to wander. Establishing rapport is about shining a spotlight on the other person, not you. 

2. Maintain eye contact. There are few things more annoying than speaking to someone while they look around the room as if they’d rather be doing something else. Others appreciate it when you pay attention to them and this is what begins to build rapport. They’ll actually begin to trust that you’re invested in the conversation and what they’re saying if you simply maintain eye contact during a conversation.

3. Let them finish before you begin thinking about what you want to say. Hear everything that’s being said before formulating a response. Building rapport involves pacing what they’re saying, doing and feeling. Your conversation partner can tell when your mind is elsewhere. Be patient.

4. Get all the information before you speak. Ask lots of questions and be curious about what’s going on for them, how they see things, and what is important to them.

5. Clarify. Ensure that what you heard is what they meant. It’s common to misunderstand, especially when the other person isn’t articulate. Take a moment to ask the necessary follow-up questions. This can be very helpful to the other person and building rapport is all about being in harmony together.

6. Avoid making assumptions. Every assumption carries the risk of error and completing destroying your chances of building rapport. Again, find out everything you need to know before you speak. Assumptions just make an ass out of you!

7. Decide if it’s better to be right or to be happy. Maybe you’re in the right. That doesn’t mean that things are going to work out in a favorable way for you. Sometimes, it’s wiser to be happy than to be right. If you insist on being right at all times, you might want to work on keeping your ego in check. Rapport gets lost when it becomes about being right or wrong.

8. The more you listen, the more you stand to gain. In a work environment, you can learn a lot by listening. You don’t learn much from speaking. You’ll be surprised by what the other person will reveal if you’re willing to listen. A short silence is often enough to get the other person to share a lot more.

9. Pace, pace, lead When establishing rapport, listening needs to be done with more than just your ears. Pacing is a kind of listening, but it’s listening to the energy on a mental, emotional, and physical level. ‘Listen to what they might be thinking, feeling, and notice what they’re doing physiologically. Then match that. Say that. Acknowledge what you see, hear, or sense with them. Each time you do this it’s called a ‘pace’. Pace at least twice before you lead them to where you want to go in the conversation.

10. Put your phone away. This is a no-brainer, but we all are culprits in today’s day and age. But if you’re looking to build rapport with people, making them the most important priority is vital. Keep your phone out of sight and out of your hands while you’re having a conversation. Think about how it makes you feel when the person you’re with is multi-tasking. 

Rapport building skills are in short supply in today’s day and age. We have a lot of distractions and a strong focus on ourselves. However, having poor rapport building skills can be costly to your relationships - personal and professional - so make sure you pace, pace, and lead!

What are some of your favorite strategies to build rapport? Leave a comment below!